When people come to see me, it’s generally because they are seeking change. Something isn’t quite the way they want it to be: they want to grow, or help their child grow. That desired change?—it begins in the brain. Scientists used to think that brains stopped growing after a certain age, but thankfully we now know better. Modern neuroscience [...]
One of the first things I tell most parents that I work with is that behavior is a communication, and that understanding the message in a child’s behavior is incredibly helpful for changing those behaviors. To put it another way, something is behind or underneath unwanted behavior; triggering or motivating or strengthening it. Those hidden drivers are usually unmet [...]
credit: J. Sibiga Photography I love the word wallow. It's fun to say, plus it reminds me of two totally separate things: self-pity, and pigs in mud. I don’t know that I’ve ever heard the phrase used without one of those two things attached! Except, I often use the phrase at work in a way that is [...]
True personal story:
When my oldest daughter was about 8 months old, she got over-stimulated and grabbed an adult relative hard enough to cause pain. We pulled her off, apologized, went into another room and helped her calm down. About 20 minutes later, I apologized for my daughter's behavior again to my relative. Her response surprised me. She said:
"Are you going to let her get away with that? Shouldn't you give her a little swat on the butt?"
I don’t spend much time advising parents on how to punish more effectively. In fact, I tend to tell parents that I am not a big fan of punishment at all. A parent rightfully asked me the other day: “Well then, if not punishment, what DO we do?
Always & Forever, by Alan Durant, is reviewed in detail here. It is one of my favorite books about grief for kids. Highly recommended. The Kissing Hand by Audrey Penn isn't about grief or loss, but it is a book about how hard it is to separate or say goodbye. That's certainly a related theme when we are talking about [...]
The Austin newspaper had a frightening story last weekend about a local child abduction. It is the sort of story that makes parents worry a little more and hold our kids a little closer. But, it also brings up good questions about what we parents can do to keep our children safe from harm. We know how to keep them away from the knives and the bleach, but what about dangerous people?
I am reminded that even when kids & families are still within their 'green zone,' back-to-school is still a stressor. Everywhere I look, I see more tears, more tantrums, more exasperated parents, more frustrated voices than usual.
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I believe family is the foundation of who we are as people and as a culture, and helping improve family lives is my calling and my passion. My top priority is helping you manage behavior more effectively while preserving your parent-child relationship, either with one-on-one coaching or through my online offerings.