Finding and Choosing a Therapist for Yourself or Your Child
This post is an FAQ for anyone considering, or already looking for a therapist for themself or someone they love. Click for a brief explanation of different types of therapists, finding a therapist with or without insurance, how to choose the right therapist for you, and a couple of other pieces of advice from the perspective of someone in the business
Q: When should a parent seek professional help?
Therapy can be supportive at any stage, and can help improve relationships by resolving minor challenges before they become a major problem.
The Arc of the Tantrum – Resources
Imagine that we can plot a tantrum on a graph... The "y-axis" is "level of tantrum" and the "x-axis" is "time." The tantrum shape is a bell curve, divided into stages. The first stage: there's no tantrum, but then there's some sort of trigger, after which behavior begins to worsen. It escalates to its worst level (dysregulation zone) and [...]
Finish Line vs Growth Parenting Moments
Imagine that interactions about behavior in your parenting life can be neatly divided in to two categories of situations. Overly simplistic, yes, but work with me here for a minute. Depending on the category, I propose that two distinct types of situations, goals, and behavior management strategies apply. And, knowing which category you are dealing with (and keeping an eye [...]
Think of a time recently when your child was upset, maybe really upset. What he was upset about wasn’t a major life loss, or a safety issue. Rather, he was just very displeased about something, for example, he wanted the green one instead of the yellow one. Or he was really excited about going to the museum but you just [...]
Parenting and Summers on a Farm
(Today's post is from therapist & author Victoria Hendricks.) photo: Joel Bedford cc My house is quiet. I have a pot of stew on the stove that will feed my husband and me suppers most of the week. All the laundry is clean and put away and I've had an hour to play on the computer with [...]
The kids who need the most love will ask for it in the most unloving ways
One of the first things I tell most parents that I work with is that behavior is a communication, and that understanding the message in a child’s behavior is incredibly helpful for changing those behaviors. To put it another way, something is behind or underneath unwanted behavior; triggering or motivating or strengthening it. Those hidden drivers are usually unmet [...]
If not punishment, then what?
I don’t spend much time advising parents on how to punish more effectively. In fact, I tend to tell parents that I am not a big fan of punishment at all. A parent rightfully asked me the other day: “Well then, if not punishment, what DO we do?