Bandaids & the Default Body
Bandaids, and the systemic racism inherent in a single “skin color” option, is an example most are familiar with, right? But knowing it intellectually is very different from experiencing it firsthand. A couple weeks ago, my whole family got our Covid boosters, and each of us received a bandaid that was a very different shade from our skin color. [...]
You say you want a revolution…
When people come to see me, it’s generally because they are seeking change. Something isn’t quite the way they want it to be: they want to grow, or help their child grow. That desired change?—it begins in the brain. Scientists used to think that brains stopped growing after a certain age, but thankfully we now know better. Modern neuroscience [...]
Mommy, did you ever get segregation when you were a kid?
photo: mikedish CC My 7 year old asked me this question not too long ago. It took me a minute to understand what she was saying—her pronunciation was 'creative,' plus the topic took me by surprise. But once I figured it out, I was both sad and grateful to her for asking the question. I told her [...]
The kids who need the most love will ask for it in the most unloving ways
One of the first things I tell most parents that I work with is that behavior is a communication, and that understanding the message in a child’s behavior is incredibly helpful for changing those behaviors. To put it another way, something is behind or underneath unwanted behavior; triggering or motivating or strengthening it. Those hidden drivers are usually unmet [...]
Helping kids resolve conflicts
Conflicts can erupt between siblings or friends easily—about who sits where, whose turn was longest, who started it, or a million other reasons. Parents often wonder what role they should play in these conflicts, and there’s a wide range of opinions—from “Stay out of it and let kids resolve things for themselves,” to “Step in and be the referee.” But [...]
Grownups Say the Darndest Things (Q & A)
I recently received the following question via email from a friend. With her permission, I am sharing it and my answer. My 4 year old daughter was born without all of her fingers. It causes her no issues in daily life. However, she does get a lot of comments, questions and stares. We are working with her on ways to answer questions, ask people to stop staring, etc...but it doesn't seem to be sticking. She prefers just to give people the "evil eye" and make a face at them if she feels uncomfortable. Should we consider therapy for this?
Talking with children about Austin’s plane crash tragedy
The MOST important thing for a parent to do in ANY difficult conversation is simply to be & stay open to communication.
Q: What should I do when my child unbuckles his seatbelt?
Question: My child keeps unbuckling his carseat, what should I do? Answer: This is a great opportunity to fabricate a teachable moment. Make sure to do these things ahead of time:
Oh, Good Question!
Earlier this week I had an initial appointment with a physical therapist. Towards the end of our visit, he gave me some instructions for things to do at home. I sortof understood, but wanted clarification, so I asked a question. This is where things went downhill.