Are you going to let her get away with that?
True personal story: When my oldest daughter was about 8 months old, she got over-stimulated and grabbed an adult relative hard enough to cause pain. We pulled her off, apologized, went into another room and helped her calm down. About 20 minutes later, I apologized for my daughter's behavior again to my relative. Her response surprised me. She said: "Are you going to let her get away with that? Shouldn't you give her a little swat on the butt?"
How to deal with a puberty-crazed teen
A reader asks: "How do you deal with a tween or teen that you know is acting badly because of puberty mood-swings? For that matter, how do you even talk to a puberty-crazed teen? They usually don't make any sense." So how do you deal with a puberty-crazed teen? Very, very carefully. ;^) Well, I’m joking there, but it’s a good serious answer, too. Here are some thoughts to keep in mind when thinking about or interacting with your teenager or pre-teen:
Talking with your kids about the Connecticut school shooting
This tragedy is so horrible I almost can't bear it. My heart hurts, and I know yours does, too. And yet, we still have to keep going, because we are our children's first protector, explainer and comforter. So take a deep breath, send some love to those families, yourself and your kids, and then you can begin to help your [...]
10 ways to help your child develop a positive self-concept
A mom asked me on Facebook the other day for recommendations on how to foster a positive self-concept for her kids. I thought it was such a great question that I'm sharing my answer here.
If not punishment, then what?
I don’t spend much time advising parents on how to punish more effectively. In fact, I tend to tell parents that I am not a big fan of punishment at all. A parent rightfully asked me the other day: “Well then, if not punishment, what DO we do?
Hold the Bowl
When I was in graduate school to become a therapist, I remember one of my professors using a metaphor to illustrate what a therapist does for her clients. She encouraged us to imagine that we held a large, uncovered bowl in our laps, and that our job was to hold that bowl while our clients put their fears, upsets, anger, etc in the bowl. Many years after grad school, I realized that parenting requires the exact same ability. Only now, it's waaaay harder.
Iceberg Ahead!
When we see SuperMom go sailing by, perfectly put together, with her perfect children behaving perfectly... we sometimes judge ourselves, and come up lacking. But this isn't fair.
Surviving the holidays with your family ;^)
Surviving the Holidays with your family... ;^)
Free Parenting Resources–part two–online help
I often receive phone calls and emails from parents who want my services, but for a variety of reasons, can't come in. A mom wrote recently asking if I knew of a way she could receive parent coaching for free. Unfortunately, my favorite parenting resource in Austin (Family Connections) has recently shut down, so I didn't really have a referral for [...]
Recommended Books about Death or Grief & Loss
Always & Forever, by Alan Durant, is reviewed in detail here. It is one of my favorite books about grief for kids. Highly recommended. The Kissing Hand by Audrey Penn isn't about grief or loss, but it is a book about how hard it is to separate or say goodbye. That's certainly a related theme when we are talking about [...]
