My Sock Drawer, circa 2001
Sometimes, we fight for control over little things, even when it's not really what we want. As parents, it's good to remember this, and recognize it when we (or our kids) do it.
Helping Children Grieve
No parent wants to use the words "child" and "death" in the same sentence. But life doesn't always honor our wants. In the best circumstances we can introduce children to death gradually.
Why did you do that?
Ever ask your kid why they did some (dumb, unwanted, whatever) thing? Yeah, me too. But! When I'm running my parenting "A" game, I try not to--for at least 2 good reasons.
De Jure versus De Facto Parenting
We parents often say things like "She needs to understand that no means no" or simply "He doesn't listen!" Behind these complaints is often a big ugly truth that just happens to have a Latin description: sometimes what we parents say isn't what we actually do.
One at a Time
Four year old Max isn't very good at picking up his toys.
Taking Children at their Word–part one
Clients of young children often tell me that their kids say things to them like "I hate you" or "You're the worst mom in the world," or even the milder but still related: "I'm not going to do that!" It's these "strong statements" that often leave parents feeling guilty or worried or challenged by seeming defiance.
Take a Deep Breath and Ask for What You Want
File this one under 'simple techniques, that, when taught & role modeled 1000 times, will produce life-long benefits for your child.' The scene: your 4 year old is upset because you have brought her the pink shoes instead of the purple ones. (How could you?!) Whining, crying, yelling and more fun stuff are starting to rear their heads.
Q: What should I do when my child unbuckles his seatbelt?
Question: My child keeps unbuckling his carseat, what should I do? Answer: This is a great opportunity to fabricate a teachable moment. Make sure to do these things ahead of time:
New digs!
I got an exciting 40 pound delivery a couple of weeks ago-
Back to School
I am reminded that even when kids & families are still within their 'green zone,' back-to-school is still a stressor. Everywhere I look, I see more tears, more tantrums, more exasperated parents, more frustrated voices than usual.
