Divorce: How to tell your kids
5 important things to do/think about/remember when first sitting down to tell your kids that their parents are divorcing
Divorce: 7 things kids want their parents to remember
Separation and divorce are hard on everyone involved. Here are 7 reminders from a child’s perspective about what is important to them.
Good for him!
As an MSSW first-year intern, I worked at a residential treatment facility for teenage male sex offenders. I didn't ask for that job, and it was really-really challenging, but I definitely learned an enormous amount there. This is one of my favorite stories from that time. I worked with a psychiatrist who was a super smart guy. He was [...]
Q: When should a parent seek professional help?
Therapy can be supportive at any stage, and can help improve relationships by resolving minor challenges before they become a major problem.
You say you want a revolution…
When people come to see me, it’s generally because they are seeking change. Something isn’t quite the way they want it to be: they want to grow, or help their child grow. That desired change?—it begins in the brain. Scientists used to think that brains stopped growing after a certain age, but thankfully we now know better. Modern neuroscience [...]
Behavior is Communication–Video
The Arc of the Tantrum video has been hugely popular, so I've made another one. This one is on a topic I speak about in various ways all the time: Behavior is Communication. Click below for 2 minutes and 38 seconds' worth of coaching on understanding your child's misbehavior. (and see directly below for a rudimentary transcript.) Behavior is Communication, notes from [...]
The Arc of the Tantrum–video
This short video--just 3 minutes--is a little experiment in sharing information through video as opposed to written articles/blog posts. I hope you like it! Won't you tell me what you think?
Feel, Felt, Found
A mom recently shared with me a handy mnemonic that reminds you what to do when your child is having a strong emotional reaction. The process comes from the same philosophies that I follow and teach, but improves upon them by being simple and easy to remember! We know the most important thing to do when our child is [...]
The kids who need the most love will ask for it in the most unloving ways
One of the first things I tell most parents that I work with is that behavior is a communication, and that understanding the message in a child’s behavior is incredibly helpful for changing those behaviors. To put it another way, something is behind or underneath unwanted behavior; triggering or motivating or strengthening it. Those hidden drivers are usually unmet [...]
Wallow with them!
credit: J. Sibiga Photography I love the word wallow. It's fun to say, plus it reminds me of two totally separate things: self-pity, and pigs in mud. I don’t know that I’ve ever heard the phrase used without one of those two things attached! Except, I often use the phrase at work in a way that is [...]