Imagine that we can plot a tantrum on a graph…
The “y-axis” is “level of tantrum” and the “x-axis” is “time.” The tantrum shape is a bell curve, divided into stages. The first stage: there’s no tantrum, but then there’s some sort of trigger, after which behavior begins to worsen. It escalates to its worst level (dysregulation zone) and after time begins to reduce, eventually coming back to ‘zero.’
The place where parents are most motivated to intervene in their child’s behavior?
That top (orange) area.
The place where interventions are LEAST likely to do any good?
Also that top (orange) area. (Aha.)
Flip the illustration over (or look at the bottom half) and you’ll see the bell curve shape reproduced, with 5 differently colored columns. These columns coordinate with the stages of the tantrum, and include advice on best techniques for managing behaviors during that phase.
Parents, this is a cheat-sheet! A short-cut to understanding and better responding to behavior. Use this to pick effective interventions based on your child’s brain functioning at any given moment.
To say it another way–this helps make sense of your child’s tantrums, explains why some things you do just make things worse, and gives a parent guidance for what TO do instead.
This is the concept that parents, over and over, have told me has been most helpful for them, in understanding and managing behavior.
(PS. “Tantrums” aren’t just for toddlers! Teenagers and you and me–we all have a version of tantrums, too!)
Want more? There are lots of resources for parents on this website related to the concept “The Arc of the Tantrum.” Here’s a list:
I’M SO EXCITED THAT WE NOW HAVE THE ARC TRANSLATED INTO TWO MORE LANGUAGES: