behavior

Good for him!

As an MSSW first-year intern, I worked at a residential treatment facility for teenage male sex offenders. I didn't ask for that job, and it was really-really challenging, but I definitely learned an enormous amount there. This is one of my favorite stories from that time. I worked with a psychiatrist who was a super smart guy. He was [...]

Behavior is Communication–Video

The Arc of the Tantrum video has been hugely popular, so I've made another one.  This one is on a topic I speak about in various ways all the time: Behavior is Communication.  Click below for 2 minutes and 38 seconds' worth of coaching on understanding your child's misbehavior.  (and see directly below for a rudimentary transcript.) Behavior is Communication, notes from [...]

Feel, Felt, Found

A mom recently shared with me a handy mnemonic that reminds you what to do when your child is having a strong emotional reaction. The process comes from the same philosophies that I follow and teach, but improves upon them by being simple and easy to remember! We know the most important thing to do when our child is [...]

The kids who need the most love will ask for it in the most unloving ways

One of the first things I tell most parents that I work with is that behavior is a communication, and that understanding the message in a child’s behavior is incredibly helpful for changing those behaviors.  To put it another way, something is behind or underneath unwanted behavior; triggering or motivating or strengthening it.  Those hidden drivers are usually unmet [...]