When mountain biking, you learn not to look too long at the obstacles in your path. It seems counter-intuitive, but it’s true.
Here’s how it goes the first zillion times before you learn this lesson:
You spot a rock. You look intently at the rock because it is big and bad and a little scary. You look at it, thinking about how you Really, Really don’t want to hit that rock. You try to steer away. You can’t. You hit the rock and fall over. Ouch.
Okay, but how is this like children?
Because they do it, too. They do it in life, with their own behaviors and with yours, too.
They create the outcome they fear. WE create the outcome we fear. Or, to put it another way: we create the outcome with our fear.
So instead of looking at the rock (or expecting the unwanted behavior, or fearing the broken plate, or the rude comment), think about, focus on, expect the positive outcome. Ignore the (small) negatives. Focus on the positives. And enjoy the ride. :^)