Knowing what you know now, what topics related to parenting would
you suggest that a couple discuss either before getting engaged, or
married, or deciding to have kids? (I’m imagining this post as a
conversation-I’ll go first, and you respond with your ideas, too!)

So here’s a few of my topic ideas:

  • Do you want to have children?! If so, approximately how many? (This assumes that neither person has children already, btw.)
  • What sort of timing would you each prefer for the first, second, etc kids?
  • Will one parent stay home? Which one?
  • How do you feel about your own parents?
  • How do you feel about the way you were parented?
  • Do you want to parent similarly, somewhat differently, or very differently from the way that you were reared?
  • Discuss your probable future parenting philosophy. For example,
    some people subscribe to a parenting style as described in books on
    Attachment Parenting or perhaps in BabyWise.
  • How do you think your lives will change with the addition of a child?
  • What relationship do you each have to traditional gender roles? How might that change with the addition of a child?

So, what else?! Leave a comment and tell me what parenting-related
topics you think people should talk about as part of their early
relationship. I’m excited to see what advice you’d give!

Update:  I was recently shown this website, which has a great–long!–list of questions to ask before marriage.