Recommended Books about Death or Grief & Loss
Always & Forever, by Alan Durant, is reviewed in detail here. It is one of my favorite books about grief for kids. Highly recommended. The Kissing Hand by Audrey Penn isn't about grief or loss, but it is a book about how hard it is to separate or say goodbye. That's certainly a related theme when we are talking about [...]
Helping Children Grieve
No parent wants to use the words "child" and "death" in the same sentence. But life doesn't always honor our wants. In the best circumstances we can introduce children to death gradually.
Why did you do that?
Ever ask your kid why they did some (dumb, unwanted, whatever) thing? Yeah, me too. But! When I'm running my parenting "A" game, I try not to--for at least 2 good reasons.
De Jure versus De Facto Parenting
We parents often say things like "She needs to understand that no means no" or simply "He doesn't listen!" Behind these complaints is often a big ugly truth that just happens to have a Latin description: sometimes what we parents say isn't what we actually do.
Talking with children about Austin’s plane crash tragedy
The MOST important thing for a parent to do in ANY difficult conversation is simply to be & stay open to communication.
One at a Time
Four year old Max isn't very good at picking up his toys.
Taking Children at their Word–part one
Clients of young children often tell me that their kids say things to them like "I hate you" or "You're the worst mom in the world," or even the milder but still related: "I'm not going to do that!" It's these "strong statements" that often leave parents feeling guilty or worried or challenged by seeming defiance.
Take a Deep Breath and Ask for What You Want
File this one under 'simple techniques, that, when taught & role modeled 1000 times, will produce life-long benefits for your child.' The scene: your 4 year old is upset because you have brought her the pink shoes instead of the purple ones. (How could you?!) Whining, crying, yelling and more fun stuff are starting to rear their heads.
Q: What should I do when my child unbuckles his seatbelt?
Question: My child keeps unbuckling his carseat, what should I do? Answer: This is a great opportunity to fabricate a teachable moment. Make sure to do these things ahead of time:
Setting Physical Limits
Setting physical limits** is a particularly sticky area for many of the parents with whom I work. When our toddlers are 18 months old, we're confident that steering them away from the electrical outlet is "right," but the water gets murkier when they are 3 and refusing to walk to the car after music class. Don't even mention the bane of children (and parents) everywhere: the carseat.
