Anti-Racist Parenting Conversations
Parents, and especially White parents, have important work to embrace around being, and parenting, in anti-racist ways. Let's start with two steps. #1: Understand “anti-racism.” I believe that most everyone in my life would describe themselves as “not racist.” If asked, they would disavow racist ideas and actions. However, as I have learned embarrassingly recently, it is not enough [...]
Book Recommendations about Parenting & ADD/ADHD
Taking Charge of ADHD by Russell Barkley Super-parenting for ADD by Edward Hallowell. (He also has a podcast with about a million episodes. Free and easy to access!) Late, Lost, and Unprepared by Joyce Cooper-Kahn & Laurie Dietzel This post contains affiliate links, which means I may receive compensation if you click the links and then buy. (and if [...]
Up & Moving: Parenting Hacks that Work
photo: kajsa cc It's late January, and the outside temperature at 6:30 this morning was in the 30s. Our thermostat inside says the house is 71 degrees, but even I didn't think that getting out from under the covers sounded like a good idea this morning. My kids? They were even less interested in getting up, getting ready, [...]
The Arc of the Tantrum – Resources
Imagine that we can plot a tantrum on a graph... The "y-axis" is "level of tantrum" and the "x-axis" is "time." The tantrum shape is a bell curve, divided into stages. The first stage: there's no tantrum, but then there's some sort of trigger, after which behavior begins to worsen. It escalates to its worst level (dysregulation zone) and [...]
Mommy, did you ever get segregation when you were a kid?
photo: mikedish CC My 7 year old asked me this question not too long ago. It took me a minute to understand what she was saying—her pronunciation was 'creative,' plus the topic took me by surprise. But once I figured it out, I was both sad and grateful to her for asking the question. I told her [...]
Finish Line vs Growth Parenting Moments
Imagine that interactions about behavior in your parenting life can be neatly divided in to two categories of situations. Overly simplistic, yes, but work with me here for a minute. Depending on the category, I propose that two distinct types of situations, goals, and behavior management strategies apply. And, knowing which category you are dealing with (and keeping an eye [...]
60-40-0
Think of a time recently when your child was upset, maybe really upset. What he was upset about wasn’t a major life loss, or a safety issue. Rather, he was just very displeased about something, for example, he wanted the green one instead of the yellow one. Or he was really excited about going to the museum but you just [...]
Gavin de Becker’s Test of 12
Although Gavin de Becker's book Protecting the Gift is a most uncomfortable read, I recommend it to parents whenever discussions of child safety come up. One of the many practical pieces of advice is how to tell when your child is ready to be left alone--ready to play a major role in assuring their own safety. Can you answer yes to [...]
The Best Version of Yourself
photo: gordonramsaysubmissions cc Like ice cream comes in different flavors, I, too, come in different versions of myself. When I have slept well and enough, eaten healthfully, gotten exercise and happy time with loved ones, and don’t have big worries hanging over my head, I am generally a good version of myself. I’m more patient and peaceful, [...]
Behavior is Communication–Video
The Arc of the Tantrum video has been hugely popular, so I've made another one. This one is on a topic I speak about in various ways all the time: Behavior is Communication. Click below for 2 minutes and 38 seconds' worth of coaching on understanding your child's misbehavior. (and see directly below for a rudimentary transcript.) Behavior is Communication, notes from [...]
